I’ve spent the day sitting on the couch watching the snow fall in endless drifts, working on my computer, and thinking about what the past year has brought and what I want for my future.
This year has been one of incredible growth for my little textile shop – we’ve smashed milestone after milestone, and I have had so many challenges and opportunities both personal and professional. I would love for my shop to growth to be linear (well, at least for a little bit), and to fling myself with abandon into the many new things that await me, but I find myself mentally hesitating and sometimes even sabotaging myself by being unfocused and not actually taking the steps needed to pursue my dreams. In trying to figure this out, I keep coming back to one of Amazon’s mantras – Think Big. This is a specific trait they look for in candidates – the ability to think way beyond the current reality and imagine a much bigger, better, reality. My husband, who helped interview candidates during his tenure there, said that was the single trait that most sunk otherwise-promising candidates. I, too, am struggling to Think Big. My personal and professional dreams are accessible, all I have to do is reach out and grab them. But apparently I’m afraid to. And what really kills me about this is that THERE IS NO CONSEQUENCE! If I try and fail I will be in literally the exact same position I am now – which is pretty damn good, honestly! If I try and succeed, then that would be AH-MAZING. Really, there is no possible way to screw this up, and yet, I’m refusing to jump.
Do secret fears of being unworthy hold me back? Am I afraid that if I try and fail than I will consider myself an utter failure so am trying to protect my self-image? I don’t have answers, but I’m going to try to get an early start on my New Year’s resolution: JUMP, DAMMIT!
I’d love to hear from you: What’s holding you back? What dreams are you still reaching for? What is your resolution? And especially, what are you going to do to actualize it?